No, La, Non.

Parenting children who have the potential to become trilingual makes for some really funny moments.

Like this one.

Liam: La! I don't want to do that.

Liam's Momma: Liam, did you say La? Liam, we don't say "No" to Mommy and Daddy. We don't say "No", "La", or "Non". Let's obey and do what Mommy and Daddy ask.

Liam: Yes Ma'am.

After this conversation Corey and I just looked at each other and laughed. I'm pretty sure that isn't a standard conversation that happens in American with a parent and their three year old son.

Look who is TWO!

Sweet, happy Norah turned TWO on Friday! We really can't believe how fast she is growing up. She's such a sweet, silly, little girl that is full of so much JOY!

Daddy and Big Bro were happy to help to blow out those two candles!

Norah has not stopped wearing her new necklaces! (She must take after her two aunts!)

Who can resist a cupcake with sprinkles on top?

Thanks for the cupcake!

Grandma Nancy mailed us all the makings for a super fun, girly Tinkerbell party!

How we spent Thanksgiving.

We threw a party for a lot of friends here and it was so much fun. There were 33 of us total and it was nice to share a little American food and culture with all of them. It was also nice to be the "teachers" for a change instead of the "learners" and to treat our friends to a really nice traditional meal. After the meal, I think they were all sitting around wondering where the Moroccan mint tea was but we didn't serve any. Haha.

My sweet helper making "deviled" eggs for the first time.

My language helper on the right and her sister on the left. The sister is the teacher at our Moroccan cooking school.

Corey and a good friend. His son turned 1 the day before Norah turned 2 last week.

Sharing cake together!

Stationery card

The Merriest Christmas Card

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I'm gonna lay down my burdens, down by the riverside.

Last week our friends took us to a beautiful lake. It was such a treat for our nature-loving family who misses all of the beautiful lakes, trails, and creeks we said goodbye to in Texas. We know Morocco has just as many beautiful places but we just don't know how to find them yet!

After a little cane pole fishing, the boys got a hankering to throw rocks into the lake. It was such a fun site to watch Liam and Corey throw rocks into the water with such gusto. The bigger the splash, the better. Being out there in that peaceful place that God created for our delight brought so much joy to my tired heart. And as I watched my husband throw rock after rock into the water, each rock growing larger than the last, I knew that more than just rocks were sinking to the bottom of that lake. One by one, he was casting off his burdens. Weariness, disappointment, anger, frustration, and all the shock that comes with living in a new culture fell deep to the bottom of that murky water.

Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Releasing the Pressure Valve

Our son (3.5) loves to play the bedtime game, you know the one where the kid comes up with all these wonderful reasons why he should keep getting out of bed. It can be so exhausting sometimes to deal with and so hard for us to hear him still up an hour after we've said our last goodnight. We want him to get a good night's sleep, not spend half the night fighting sleep.

About a month ago we tried out a technique from the Simplicity Parenting book called "releasing the pressure valve." The author talked about how kids have all this built up emotional energy and that they need outlets throughout the day to let it out. They need space to connect and share, to feel loved and cared for. This made sense to me because sometimes at night I go to bed dog tired but then find that I can't fall asleep until I share my thoughts and emotions from the day with my hubby.

So we started a little impromptu sharing game during our family dinner. We ask 3-4 questions and each person gets a turn to answer. "What was your favorite thing today? "What was your hardest thing about today?" "Did something frustrate you today?" "What are you excited about tomorrow?" Everyone is included and my son makes sure that even our 20 month old's day is interpreted since she can't yet speak up for herself.

If we don't share at dinner time then I make a point to ask these questions at bedtime. I honestly didn't know if we'd see the results that the author suggested, but I have been pleasantly surprised. Our son loves this game, so much that he even asked us these questions one night when we were eating dinner at another family's house. (The family doesn't speak English so he couldn't really play the game with them).

We found that after we created a purposeful space for sharing and connecting about our day, the post-bedtime craziness has become almost non-existent. There's no more hour long procrastination after we've tucked him in. Now he falls asleep much easier and it has made us much happier parents. I also enjoy the space we are creating to connect emotionally as a family, to stop for a minute to be introspective together, and to know the good and the bad from each other's day so that we know better how to care for and pray for one another.

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ...But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.". Gal 6:12, 24b-26

Oops, I kissed a boy.

When you greet somebody in Morocco, you kiss them on each side of their face. That is, if you are a girl and they are a girl. It is still a bit awkward for me because different women kiss different amounts of times on each side, depending on how close your relationships are with them. But, because I love a good embarrassment, I have now kissed two men in Morocco, one as old as my Grandpa, and one a young University student. Oops. I guess you don't always learn your lesson the first time.

There is this little old man who is quite old and quite cute, and I swear to you that he looks exactly like my Grandpa Hays. When Corey and I were walking to language class every morning for the first six months, this cute little man came up to us and greeted us. We passed him 2-3 times a week and it became something we looked forward to. We can never really understand him much though, because he speaks a lot of French to us, and also he has very few teeth. He noticed Corey's sack and asked him if he had any Bon Bon. He laughed and said no. Corey bought him a chocolate Bon Bon the next week and gave it to him. Every time he sees Corey he asks if he has "beaucoup d' monet" in his sack (lots of money). Corey just smiles and says no. At some point the old man gave me the little cheek to cheek kiss. I guessed it was okay, seeing as how the man was in his 90s. But our tutor said it wasn't really cultural so after the second time I politely offered him my hand to shake.

Then tonight we ate dinner at a friend's house. He is a newer friend and it was the first time I had met his family. As we were leaving, I went around either shaking hands (with guys) or kissing girls/women on the cheeks. When I got to one of the sons (in university studying to be a doctor) I accidentally leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. After the first cheek I realized my mistake and then tried to stop the second cheek but it was too late. We sort of awkwardly laughed but who knows what he thought about me! Later in the car, Corey said "what were you doing kissing that young, handsome boy on the cheeks?".

Hopefully now I have learned my lesson.

Simplicity Parenting

I just finished reading through a book called Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, More Secure Kids. I read through it slowly and enjoyed all the practical tips and ideas included. There is plenty of theory too, if you like that sort of thing. I loved the thesis of the book! Simplicity is better. Kids thrive on it. They need space to learn and grow, they need loving rhythm and predictability, and they surely don't need lots of "stuff" to keep them happy.
Corey and I have already incorporated some of the ideas from the book into daily life and I have definitely seen some positive, fun changes happening. I am noticing that one of the biggest shifts we are experiencing is coming from me, and it is a shift from a more activity-based parenting style to a more relaxed, experiential style of daily life.

Changing things up a bit

A few months ago, our language schedule changed and I started having one morning free again to stay home with the kids. I decided that on that morning every week I would focus all of my attention on Liam and Norah, and I wasn't even going to think about that day's language hours until the kids went down for a nap. I started getting hooked on these mom blogs, finding all sorts of fun preschool activities to do with Liam and Norah. There were art projects and learning games, songs and ideas for pretend play. So, I did a little planning before those particular mornings and we had lots of fun. The problem was though, that after about two weeks of this, Corey helped me to realize that I had inadvertently created a monster! Our son was beginning to constantly demand these activities and he seemed to forget how to sit and play by himself. He seemed extra fussy and whiny too. Corey explained that while I meant well, what I was doing wasn't really working so well and Liam seemed only satisfied when he was doing an "activity." It was also frustrating to me personally because I would work hard to create some fun activity (like set-up a little post office play area) and then he wouldn't even play with it for that long before he was ready for the next "thing."
About this time I read this book and it got me to thinking about some things I could do differently. I wasn't leaving enough open space for create play, for Liam and Norah to have to figure out and sort out things on their own. All the activities I was planning just led for the desire for more and more and more. (You should read the book because the author explains all this much better than me). Since then we started incorporating a few changes here and there, trying to create a little more open space, more rhythm and predictability in daily life, and more downtime to connect as a family. It feels really good.

A few things we are working on:

• Simplifying and de-cluttering toys
• Creating a calm, peaceful dinner time
• Teaching the kids to be a part of daily chores
• Reducing TV time
• Letting the kids help more with meal prep

I am planning to incorporate many more over the coming weeks and months and I was thinking it would be fun to document them here. So, stay tuned for more.

A Tree!

Don't worry, we don't think our kid is the next Picasso! But, he did paint a tree, right-side up, with the correct colors, and even a blue sky and ground below. And we thought that was pretty cool, considering Liam usually just makes creative little scribbles.

Insert proud parent moment here. It is pretty fun to watch your kids grow up before your very eyes. Just not too fast, we hope.

Public Health Gone Bad

Corey and I both have Masters degrees in Public Health from Texas A&M University Rural School of Public Health. We will just say that knowing what we know about health and living in Morocco keeps things...interesting.

Yesterday, for instance, we took Norah to the doctor to get immunized. While waiting in the office we saw this.

Sorry for the dark picture. If you will look at the top of the fish tank (that has no fish inside) you will see a coffee cup. During our visit, we saw two different moms walk up, put water in the cup, and give their child a drink.

Imagine that, a communal water cup available to the entire office full of sick (and healthy) children waiting to see their friendly physician. Either this doctor has figured out a great way to keep his business running or there is a bit of a disconnect happening here in this country.

(The communal cup exists everywhere in Morocco, especially in the medina, a large market square where literally thousands of Moroccans and tourists shop daily. For the great bargain of only 10 cents you can get your thirst quenched and maybe pick up a few free communicable diseases while you are at it!)

Getting your hands dirty...

I've been trying to give the kids opportunities to be outside more.  This is quite challenging though, since we live in an apartment.  There's a "park" right in our neighborhood, but it's nothing like parks in America.  There are trees and dirt and such, but there is no playground equipment and you have to watch out for broken glass on the ground.

But, there's this nice spot that is pretty cleaned out, under a canopy of shade trees, and Liam and Norah love sitting and playing in the dirt.  I've really enjoyed sitting and watching them play.  And they love getting their hands dirty (and faces, and feet, and mommy's clothes too).

We really, really want to move to a place with a yard though.  They are harder to come by and we've been searching for several months.  I want the kids to be able to play outside often, at impromptu times.  And I want to be able to play outside with them and be silly, and not worry about whether or not the park is too empty or unsafe feeling, or whether me sitting in the dirt playing looks completely inappropriate for the culture (because Moroccan moms would NEVER sit and play in the dirt with their kids or chase them around to play hide and seek).   But I love those things, and I love nature, and I want a little place that we call our own where we get to protect the sacred little traditions that makes our family unique.

We are asking God daily to help us find a new home with a yard to play in.  And in the meantime, we will try to enjoy our little shaded spot under the canopy of trees and be thankful for what we do have.

Honey, there's a far in our dar!

A few nights ago I walked into our bedroom and thought I saw a little shadow dart from behind the dresser towards the bed.  I thought it was my old arch-nemesis, a cockroach (oil-thief in Darija).  Startled, I did a double take and realized it was a little bigger, and a little furrier than my enemy. I jumped up on the bed and yelled for Corey to come quickly.

Indeed, we had a late-night visitor, a mouse (far).  After about an hour and a half of our feeble attempts to catch the little guy who thought he could make our house (dar) his new home, we decided to shut the bedroom door and sleep in our salon.  Early the next morning, Corey worked his husband magic and caught the mouse and threw him out (alive) through our sixth floor window.  Corey watched him hit the ground.  At first he only twitched a little, and then he got up and quickly ran off, afraid of becoming the neighbor's cat's next meal.  Poor mouse.

It was a really funny experience and I decided that I could start a new children's book series called "There's a Far in my Dar."

A visit from Sommer's family

Sommer's parents and little brother came to visit us for nine days.  We had so much fun spending time with them.  We showed them around our city, visited Volubilis, the Roman ruins, shopped the spiraling Fes Medina, and spent a few nights in the mountain city of Ifrane.  Liam and Norah had a great time playing with their grandparents and uncle.  We celebrated Sommer's 30th birthday, fed peanuts to wild monkeys, ate camel burgers, and enjoyed a concert from a rooftop terrace at the medina square.

Here are a few pictures from the trip.

Cole feeds a monkey

Grandma "Ancy" and Norah

Big PaPa and Liam

At the Roman ruins